Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
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I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize