Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
