she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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