I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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