how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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