Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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