I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
