I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
