i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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