Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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