he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Who died my cat blue again?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
