Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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