I swear she didn't look like that last week.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
