i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
