I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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