i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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