I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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