She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
