my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
