just tell him i said nine months
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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