I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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