we made out on top of his cat.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Bring me that man meat
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
