I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize