Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
