Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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