Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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