My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
