I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
