At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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