she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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