i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is Oprah even human
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
