last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
