Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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