You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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