Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
this beer tastes like vomit already
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
