thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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