I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
