My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
