therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
wow bdsm is so cute
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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