what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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