he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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