his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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