I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
