quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The uberlube is also flammable
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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