Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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