So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
