At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We need to rekindle our bromance
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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