Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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