how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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