she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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