i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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