I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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