is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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