This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
