my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
