why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
