See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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