WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
