why do cheetos always look like penises
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
