Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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