This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
