alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
