But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
